This blog used to be called theta. There wasn't really a purpose behind that; just the memory of the superficial joy I had in writing the symbol theta in high school math problems. (I'm a nerd, I'm aware.) Yesterday I was watching Law and Order: Criminal Intent and Goren said that the symbol theta represented death.
This started another round of name-planning, since, in fact, I do not want my blog to represent death. When I started thinking about it, though, it seemed a very fitting time to make a change. Yesterday was also my last day of student teaching. Today is a study day before my last finals week, during which I have no finals, because I was student teaching. Next week I will graduate after five wonderful years at BYU. In two weeks I will be back at home with my parents and no definitive plans to move elsewhere or begin a career.
Times are changing. It's hard to fathom that it's actually time for me to be an adult. I've begun to feel that feeling of terror that comes from not knowing what will happen next.
I wish I had some new and novel way to explain these pretty cliche feelings, but I got nothing. Nothing except time -- time to think, time to plan, time to worry, time to wait, time to grow. Thus, chronos was born.
2 comments:
i haven't looked at your blog in a long time, sista, but i was happy to see there was a new post when i did decide to look today :) so much has changed since last time you posted! in just a few short months a piece of your future has unraveled and you already have more direction that you did when you wrote this. Heavenly Father does a good job of taking care of us in that way i think - i felt the same way when i got home from my mission. then i decided to move to MN with no job lined up or plan at all and then BOOM! a piece of my life unraveled before me too :)
love you! can't wait to see you at Christmas!!
Theta! I love it! Hahaha. Oh, I remember that terrifying feeling of the future pressing in all too well...
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