Yes...

Apparently, you did.

I'm glad. =)

Expecting Too Much?

Our American Heritage professor sent all of his 2,000+ students this article about how more and more college students today are expecting more and more from their professors, and thence from their grades. My sister Megan was telling me about this a couple weeks ago; she attended a lecture for her MFHD classes, and she told me the speaker talked about how professors are getting calls from parents complaining about their children's grades. Really, now?

I've always loved to learn, and my parents have always pointed this out and encouraged me. I like to think about how much I am learning here at BYU; I've accepted I won't always get the grades I got in high school, but I am so excited about the new things I am learning and can teach to my future history students. My classes continually overlap, and especially American Heritage is giving me tons of ideas on how to teach students who may not want to be there. That was one of my biggest fears about being a history teacher; at least in our school district, a history class of some sort was required every year, so I knew I would be teaching not honors kids, most likely, for at least my first few years. That was scary to accept; I'd never really been in a non-honors class since they didn't divide them in 6th grade. But combined with these movie clips, current events references, and my Government class in 12th grade when I couldn't schedule in AP Gov, I think teaching will be wonderful.

Life in a Catalogue

We checked mail late this evening, and they had forwarded my Newsweek to the proper mail receptacle. Some articles I don't understand, or I just read the first few paragraphs of and look at the pictures, but I feel like a better citizen just pulling it out of my mailbox and seeing that iconic red title band smile with me.

In their book section, they talked about this novel that's set up like an auction catalogue... with all the remnants of this couple's life "for sale".

What a thought-provoking idea... what would people think if my life were a series of auction lots? Each photograph is afforded a dry description of the details and significance in "Lenore" & "Harold's" life. I hope I never get to see the auction book of my life; I doubt I would approve any description that attempted to describe what my life's little mementos meant to me. That's why I carry a lot of stuff; Dad always makes fun of me, but I can't believe things don't have meaning for some people. Maybe it's just because I have such a bad memory, I like having things and pictures around me to remind me of what once was. I like being surrounded by instant memories, smiles, and happy thoughts. I also like to think that a visit to my room or my desk would be like flipping through a catalogue itself... "Important Artifacts and Personal Property From the Collection of Hilary Janae Lauchner, Including Books, Photographs, and General Memories." I can see it now; a runaway bestseller.

Did You?

I know I should be ok with waiting. But I know you're doing something important.

Life, in an Alternate Dimension

I don't even remember what we were talking about, but I was with my sister today and we were joking about today has been in a different dimension... it might have been because of the Monday schedule? But I've also been thinking a lot lately about my future... I think part of it might have been because of church on Sunday; I doubt there was even something said about this, but I just remember thinking I was so glad to know what my future is, or at least could be. Today my friend Justin at the Naval Academy texted me asking where he was going to be in 7 years. I thought it was funny he was asking me; so I gave him the typical military response, in a foreign country, designing secret weapons (which is what he wanted to do). He said he didn't think so; we got into it, and he'd never really thought about his future before. Maybe it's just a girl thing? I know Stephanie has planned just about everything you could pre-plan in life; I haven't thought *that* far, but I've been imagining a lot. And I've realized that I am SO grateful for a plan, a path, and a patriarchal blessing to shape my future. Justin didn't seem to understand that I'd go where my husband needed to go even if it meant I couldn't teach at home like I want to... I can't wait for the family part of my future. I can't wait for my future to involve other people than just me. I want to share futures, to share goals and commitments and ups and downs and friendship and love.

Marriage still seems so far off. Just thinking is enough for now.

Longer

Every Christmas since I can remember, Dad's given me a "book bag" filled with all sorts of books, DVDs, CDs, piano books, the like. This Christmas he gave me a CD by a boy named Darin Southam... I assume he's LDS, but I thought I knew what he would be and so I just hadn't been in the mood to listen to it. But recently, after his "Pie Jesu" came up on my Quiet Music shuffle list one time, I've been stuck on it, and him in general. He's not really phenomenal, but I guess these past few days have just lent itself to him. I realized I loved the songs he sings; "The Valley Clear", "Come What May" from Moulin Rouge, "What A Wonderful World", and especially "Longer". I recognized that I had heard the song before, but I can't believe it hadn't touched me like it did before. I think it's so beautiful, and perfect for an LDS audience; because love really is eternal, in both directions... I like to think that just as we will love and be with our future spouse after we die, we loved them and knew them in the pre-mortal life, too. We just have to find them here.

Longer than there've been fishes In the ocean
Higher than any bird ever flew
Longer than there've been stars
Up in the heavens
I've been in love with you.

Stronger than any mountain cathedral
Truer than any tree ever grew
Deeper than any forest primeval
I am in love with you.

I'll bring fires in the winters
You'll send showers in the springs
We'll fly through the falls and summers
With love on our wings.

Through the years as the fire starts to mellow
Burning lines in the book of our lives
Though the binding cracks and the pages start to yellow
I'll be in love with you.

Longer than there've been fishes in the ocean
Higher than any bird ever flew
Longer than there've been stars
Up in the heavens
I've been in love with you
I am in love with you...

Day 6B - Hearts Knit Together

=) I remember a father's blessing I got before I came out to school. My dad said that if I made an effort to get to know people, I would find that I loved people. This was a little surprising to me, because at home I was more anti-social... but here, I really feel like I have come far. I love you, too.

Day 5B - Blue Suede Shoes

Ok, so not really blue suede, but my new purple shoes still saw a lot of dancing tonight. Stephanie, Sam, Becca, and I accompanied Rachael & Taylor and Audrey & Hwa to the V-Day dance.... and it was SO fun! I was glad I went, even after all the heat and smelly (which Megan says accompanies every Mormon dance... bahaha) . =)

Day 4B - Girls' Night Out

Tonight Rachael, Sam, Becca, and I, and later Stephanie, headed out for some major shopping and a scrumptious dinner at Brick Oven. We all bought a pair of awesome sunglasses and the headband is for the VDay dance tonight. I bought some other things too, and it was so great to be able to get off campus again, but especially to hang out with the girls. =)

Day 3B - Romeo & Juliet

Today my friend/employer/adopted big sister/complicated story from home sent me a Valentine's package. I used opening it as a reward to encourage me finishing my paper (or at least one page of it...). Please notice the ADORABLE feather hat Finn has (aka Romeo, as it says on his vest). FYI, he also has a cape. Are stuffed animals supposed to still be so cute after age 12?

Day 2B - Reading Some More

Reading this for my History class was a lot harder than I thought... as Megan can attest, I gave up with about 20 pages left. And I found out in class today, as we discussed Rousseau, I totally missed the whole background of it.... AWESOME. But he had some really great quotes, so it was enjoyable. Kindof.

Day 1B - Play it Again, Sam

I realized the title is a double reference, one to "Casablanca" and the other to Sam the Man, who is also in University Band. Um, I love it. The guys keep me entertained... today we discussed how I couldn't count, how everyone I know is going to be gone next year, how we thought there were dead animals hanging in the percussion closet, and going to the basketball game. By the way, this is my new mouthpiece.

Day 7 - A Cookie Spoiler

These cookies have always looked so yummy, chocolate-chippity, and moist. I finally got one today on my way home from work... and I was disappointed, and not just because of the cookie references from stake conference. Poor chocolate chip cookies.

Day 6 - Heart to Heart

Today, being the first day I ate at the Cannon Center in about 20 eons, called for a stop back at the good ol' mail box. Lo and behold, a package awaited me, from the Minnesotan grandparents. They sent me a cute Valentines card, these sweethearts, and a new heart pencil for my collection. Even though I don't really like those Necco hearts, and I rarely use non-mechanical pencils, it was the thought that was sweet. Happy Valentine's.

Day 5 - An Old Pair

My sister & I have been going to the gym every Saturday morning for the last month or so, but I didn't bring any real tennis shoes from home with me because I haven't really had any since gym 10th grade year. So she let me borrow these indefinitely, which actually used to be mine back in middle school... Lorraine had the exact same pair.

Day 4 - Read a Good Book

My sister and I stopped up at the Bookstore Book Sale before our weekly luncheon & Stats homework session. We went to get books for our sister's birthday, but I ended up buying these 4 for myself. We did get a copy of all the Narnia books for our sister, though, and a pocket copy of Pride and Prejudice (like mine, on top) for our mom.

Day 3 - A Good End

The longest day of my life; AH test checked out before 11, on campus until 2 for my AH lab, then PS100 lab, HIST 202, followed by studying for the Stats test (my 4/4 test this week) and finally getting that one, too. But look at that beautiful test score.... mhmm.

Day 2 - The Big Empty

Megan's computer is off. I don't think I'm ever awake when it's off... maybe. Her side looks a little sad and too clean to be Megan. But she's gone to a better place.

Day 1 - Little Blue Men

Today in an email from the old scrapbooking magazine I subscribed to, I read the challenge to take at least one picture every day for a month. I thought it was a good idea; but we'll see how a week works out first.


Tonight it's the newbie to my desk, the Little Blue Clock Man. I picked him up at the testing center last night; there was a whole pile of stuff we could take. By the time I got to look at, it was mostly stuff from what looked like the 80s. However, I spotted little Clock Man under all the rest of the mess and knew I had to take him home. For the life of me I can't figure out how to get him to show the right time, but he's cute, so it makes up for it. He also has a clip on the back... which is currently empty though. Some day.