What a Difference a Year Makes

Lately my roommate Megan and I have found ourselves continually drawn to the topic of how satisfied we are with our lives... not that we talk about things in those terms, but the things we do discuss have been integral factors in our general life satisfaction. Since moving out of The Provs (nevermind, can't really give Provo a nickname I guess), life has been very different for us here in our little farm town. (SPOILER ALERT: Megan and I are currently working on a new blog about single life in our farm world. Working title: "It Stinks." Don't worry, it'll be more positive than it sounds. Though it does stink awfully out here because of the wild turkey farm nearby.)

Earlier this week we were discussing a quite frustrating situation that's only grown since we moved in, and is exacerbated by our distance from our friends and family in Provo. We had a nice rant about it, and then I joked that I had written about a precipitating event in this calamity in my journal last year. Well, out comes the journal and it has been exactly a year to the day that this infamous first event went down.

After we had a good hearty laugh/cry about that one, I started thinking. Not much had progressed on that front in a year, but what had I done differently? In some ways I think I've moved forward, but in others I've moved back. I've traded in college-student drama for middle-schoolers' drama. I've given up my comfortable circles of friends and associates for men at church we've taken to labeling with "Creepy" before their name (e.g. Creepy Mustache, Creepy Rob, etc.). Granted, I now have an adult job, but even that feels like it's not real, like I'm only an adult for 4 hours every other morning.

I don't know what I'm waiting for, but I can't avoid this feeling of stagnancy. After our hilarious/horrific realization on the one year anniversary of this significant incident, Megan and I decided we needed to do something different. We brainstormed a nice list of possible new things that would get us out and about. (Please note, because this is technically a "brainstorm," all things that were suggested were written down, in order to preserve the flow and creativity of the process.)

Either this blog or "It Stinks" will provide an update on our adventures. :) Wish us luck as we do something about our new, stinky* lives!

*seriously, things don't stink that bad in perspective. just the turkey farm.

DAY 15 - Kristian

Official Topic: The Person I Miss the Most
My Take: Someone I Miss a Lot

Again, in the interest of not talking about Kurt every other day, I've chosen instead to alter this post to be about one of the many people I miss. I will try my best to make this post about Kristian different than my past post. (What can I say? He's just so awesome my blog gets to hear about him twice.)

Dearest Kristian,

I don't know what it is about you, but we all just love you. Sometimes we hate you (sorry about that one time, we were angry), but mostly we love you. For me, there's something that just draws me in. Maybe it's the enigma of who you are, what you think, and what you'll say next.

Thanks for being so smart, and making me laugh, and especially for making me think. You don't let anyone around you coast through life without thinking about the important things, and that's a gift. I love how you know people better than they know their own selves. I love hearing, "Hilary, I thought you'd like this," because sure enough, you are right every time.

There's so many more times than the adventures I listed in last semester's post that I still love to look back on. Thanks for being a good friend, Kristian. I'm glad we could bond in the way that only people who annoy each other but still care can. And don't worry, I've become a stellar letter writer to missionaries. I even have this sweet thing to send you that I've had for more than a year. I hope you'll like it (I'm not as good as predicting those things as you are).

Love,
Hilary

P.S. Yes, I know this photo makes me look ridiculous, but that's how we are. Me, making a fool of myself; and you, looking at me strangely. And yet we're still friends.

DAY 14 - Lorraine

Today's Subject: Someone I've Drifted Away From

Dear Lorraine,

I'm so glad you were willing to be my friend. Later in high school we already started parting ways, but I will always be thankful for the time and love you gave to me. You were always by my side and willing to help me. You let me vent and always supported me, even when your trials and disappointments were bigger than my own.

I am sad that we have gone our separate ways, but we have become two separate people. I loved the years we spent together, but I know that we each have a different person we need to become. Thank you for driving me everywhere, fixing my hair for dances, making delicious cakes, and making sure I had a fun high school career. I hope you are doing what you love!

Sincerely,
Hilary

DAY 10 - JoAnna

Today's Topic: Someone I Don't Talk to As Much As I Like To

JoAnna is one of my friends from high school. We were in many of the same classes together, and most of the same afterschool clubs and activities together. I considered her somewhat of an honorary band member, since most of her friends were in band and she hung out with us so often.

Dear JoAnna,

You are hilarious. I miss that. You weren't afraid to be your own person, but you knew when to hold off to make other people comfortable. Your sense of humor wasn't always my style, but you respected me enough to make an effort when I was around, and for that I am very grateful.

You made everyone feel welcome. You became a friend to all. You were never held back by the fear or nervousness that most of us feel. I was so glad you wanted to be my friend.

Throughout the years after high school, you still made me feel special when you thought of me. I so appreciate your efforts to keep in touch with me, and I'm sorry I've been such a lame friend. I wish I could better repay your wonderful years of friendship. Thank you for all the fun times you have given me!

Most Gratefully,
Hilary

DAY 8 - Guyomar

This is the legit(imate) topic today folks: My Favorite Internet Friend.

Dear Guyomar,

Those years of my obsession with creating websites are long past by now, but I still remember how envious I was of your website. And how thrilled out of my mind I was when we became friends. Your site was like my hero, and to have you come visit mine and help me along my way was like meeting a celebrity (without the actual meeting you part).

My parents' rules were that I was not allowed to email or talk with anyone online that I didn't know in person. But yeah, I talked to you anyways. You could be a 12 year old boy, or maybe even a nice old grandmother, and I wouldn't know the difference, but I still thought you were really rad. Thanks for having faith in me. You gave me confidence in doing something I loved, for which I will ever be grateful.

Good luck wherever you are. You're probably a super-champion blogger since that's the thing now. I can't find your site anymore, but I remember that it was the bomb.

You're Awesome,
Hilary

DAY 1 - Tori

Official Topic: My Best Friend
My Take: One of My Greatest Friends

I recently wrote a post about my lack of a best best friend. Perhaps my definition of a best friend is too selfish, but we can analyze that later. For today, I'll tell you about Tori, who is one of my great friends.

Dear Tori,

I don't remember helping you after school when you were in middle school, but something must have clicked. I do remember when I was the tuba section leader, and we needed another tubist. I was so excited to suggest you. The first day you came to band camp you were wearing jeans. I was nervous how you'd turn out, but you've become one of the best leaders and contributors to the band I still love.

I am so proud to call you my friend. You are talented, passionate, and responsible. Having you there to talk to and laugh with and whisper to made marching band so much more exciting. I looked forward to it each and every day.

It still amazes me that you are only one year older than my little sister. I compare all the younger people I know to you, which probably isn't fair to them. You're so old for your age, which I think helped us connect even though we are 3 years apart. Thank you for sticking by me even though distance was easier. Thank you for hanging out with me even though I was much older than you, especially by high school years. Thank you for always caring about me, even though you have plenty of other people who want your attention. Thank you for making me feel special.

Love Always,
Hilary

Bosom Friend

I've never really had a girl best friend. When I was in elementary school, and it was cool to have best friends, I would always say it was one of my friends who had moved away, so no one would feel bad it wasn't them (or be able to refute my claim). In middle school it didn't matter as much, but in high school I had some friends who came pretty close. I knew plenty of people and had many I was friendly with, but they always had another friend who was even bester than I. They always called someone else to gossip about boys or share their secrets with.

I don't know what I did wrong. But I do think it's a natural longing in everyone to be someone's one and only. This shows itself in marriage and dating relationships, but I think the more overlooked and under-appreciated is the one and only best friend; the "bosom friend," as Anne Shirley always said.

"A bosom friend--an intimate friend, you know--a really kindred spirit to whom I can confide my inmost soul. I've dreamed of meeting her all my life. I never really supposed I would, but so many of my loveliest dreams have come true all at once that perhaps this one will too. Do you think it's possible?" [Anne of Green Gables, Chapter VIII]

I guess it's more my desire to be somebody else's bosom friend. That's probably my selfishness rearing its head again. But I console myself in knowing I have found perhaps the most important bosom friend, the man I love.

Halloween

Halloween '07 - Yes, I'm pretty sure that's the face Little Red Riding Hood would make if she had to pose with someone who looked like that.



Halloween Night '08 - Mostly a night of taking pictures. =)



Halloween Party '08 - Trying to get a cape-flying-in-the-breeze shot. Bahaha.

I'm excited. =)

It's Not Easy Never Being #1

What is the point where it's ok to complain, because it's really not fair? Where does the line of selfishness end and equality begin? At what time is it ok for me to stand up and defend myself to you?

Because I've not been number 1 for a while. And in general, I'm ok with that. I know your priorities. I've known them for years. I know that what I am supposed to be doing with you will never be your top priority, but once in a while I wish you would let me take a vacation in first place for a day. When was the last time you actually did something with me? When was the last time you didn't back out because one of your higher priorities called for you? It's not like I'm needy; I don't call you everyday and whine about not seeing you or hearing from you. But please keep in mind, it's been a while since I saw you. We used to be best friends. I'd like to hang out with you again. I do not require constant visits and texts and facebook messages to keep my self-esteem up, but once in a while, if you kept a commitment to me, it would be nice. I wish you could spare a few hours of your summer for me.

Look Where We Are Now

This time last year, the worst birthday of my life was about to commence. I am so glad I stayed awake in those wee hours of the morning to write everything down in my journal from that night (a whole 15 pages full of tears, question marks, angry capital letters, and relatively very few smiley faces). Although most of it's just funny to read through now, I can remember how low and hurt I felt.

What made me really think about then and now was when Claire handed me a platter of beautiful homemade chocolate chip cookies drizzled in chocolate and each topped with an "H" at church today. Last year, when I arrived home after 1AM from the cast party of doom, cookies like these were waiting on our porch. Those cookies, and a phone call from Claire's mom (then my seminary teacher) about how much they loved the play and to wish me a happy birthday made me burst into fresh tears. When people are so nice after other people are so mean, the juxtaposition just does wonders on my tear glands.

This is the first year that I really feel like I have moved somewhere; that I have become someone different since my last birthday. Returning home after my first year at the Y makes me feel so much older than everyone I left behind; I thought all was going to be the same.

I'm glad some things aren't the same... the people I felt hurt me last birthday are this birthday once again some of my best friends. The things I felt drudged down in last birthday were catalysts for turning points in my life I can now look back on with a smile. The depths of despair I felt last birthday have provided the opposition for me to today appreciate the heights of my blessings and joys. I wouldn't be who I am today without that one day I turned 18. Though, here's to a hopefully less painful 19!

Y Not?

After our Divine Comedy plans epically failed (within like 2 seconds of their birth), we scrambled (for the hour before we were supposed to leave) to make it to the base of Y Mountain on time and in one piece (after a quick stop at Subway and Jamba Juice, where we met up with Jordan).


Um.... I almost died on Y Mountain. And I felt like the biggest wuss ever to set foot on BYU campus. If I was ever to be cremated, I would seriously consider having my ashes scattered along the trail, since I almost died there anyways. And it was especially embarrassing with Jordan there, who kept offering to take my bookbag and wasn't even breathing heavily the whole way up. MUTANT. WHO HAS DONE EVERY OTHER SPORT EXCEPT TRACK AND FIELD. Dang. Here's some other highlights of our night:

1. Pulsating all over my body as I hiked up the mountain. And feeling like I was going to puke.
2. Feeling like my head was touching the ground, it was such a steep incline.
3. Feeling like I was getting gout in my fingers. I couldn't take my rings off, they were so fat.
4. Taking the flat trail to the bottom of the Y, then having to climb up the Y itself (which is kind of illegal) to get to the top where everyone else who didn't want to come down was. Also near very loud Spanish-speaking people.
5. Getting a sweet scar on my leg climbing up said Y.
6. Feeling like I was about to plummet down to my death at any moment bear-climbing up said Y.
7. Watching The Princess Bride at the top of the Y. And having all the boys quote every single line... lol.
8. Falling walking back down the mountain. I'm pretty much awesome.
9. Swinging on the park swings.
10. Playing on this AWESOME big swing thing that looked like one of those horse-walker things, like in Princess Diaries 2.
11. Doing a cartwheel for the first time in a long time with Audrey.
12. Getting kicked out of the park by the cop, who apparently approved of our choice of Princess Bride, but said the park closed at 11.
13. Having to wait 20 minutes for a seat at IHOP, at 2:30 in the morning.
14. Kristian ruining his fries I was to eat by drenching them in pickle juice. (Ok, I guess he *did* buy them...)
15. Seeing Jordan eat his 6 pieces of french toast in 5 minutes flat, and draining a glass of water less than a minute after we had received them (I actually think this is his normal pace, not out of extraordinary hunger).
16. Awkward Jordan hug. Oops.
17. Awkward Kristian hug. Again.
18. Getting to bed at least an hour before Megan woke up for work (yay! we're improving! ^_^)
19. Waking up at 8AM to a mysterious call from Jordan... who turned out not to be Jordan.... which is another long story.
20. Disbelieving Jordan actually came with us and put up with our insanity. For a very long time. I kind of admire him for that.

P.S. Nick the Hippie Kid is actually very nice. =)

Day 6B - Hearts Knit Together

=) I remember a father's blessing I got before I came out to school. My dad said that if I made an effort to get to know people, I would find that I loved people. This was a little surprising to me, because at home I was more anti-social... but here, I really feel like I have come far. I love you, too.

Day 5B - Blue Suede Shoes

Ok, so not really blue suede, but my new purple shoes still saw a lot of dancing tonight. Stephanie, Sam, Becca, and I accompanied Rachael & Taylor and Audrey & Hwa to the V-Day dance.... and it was SO fun! I was glad I went, even after all the heat and smelly (which Megan says accompanies every Mormon dance... bahaha) . =)

Day 4B - Girls' Night Out

Tonight Rachael, Sam, Becca, and I, and later Stephanie, headed out for some major shopping and a scrumptious dinner at Brick Oven. We all bought a pair of awesome sunglasses and the headband is for the VDay dance tonight. I bought some other things too, and it was so great to be able to get off campus again, but especially to hang out with the girls. =)

Suffocation? Oh, Please.

I facebook chatted my best friend from home today just for fun, and while we were talking, he was like, "I was just going to text you today but I didn't want to bother you or anything. I'm worried about suffocating you all the time or something." HELLO.... I'm open to suffocation. I'm a fan. If I was to die, I'd want suffocation to be my way to go.

Ok, not really, but I'll take stuff from home anytime. Ok, of course I don't prefer the crap, but I'm the kind of person who really just wants to know what's going on. Hearing things from my friends at home gives me those fuzzies inside that my hole at home didn't just heal right up in time for school to start again. Is it selfish that that makes me feel loved? I hope someday I can live back home.

Golly, This World is Small

#1. Me --> Rachel, whom l I met looking at the map of the ESC to find our PS100 Lab Room --> Kylee, a girl in Rachel's ward also randomly taking our same lab --> both Rachel and Kaylee live in Chipman --> Kylee's roommate is from Virginia, too --> Kylee's roommate ends up being the girl from my old stake I see around here all the time. SO WEIRD.

#2. Me --> taking Stats 221 with my sister, Megan --> one of Megan's friends, Lydia also signs up for the class --> I meet Lydia on Monday, her first day of class --> today in my Hist 202 class I see someone that looks like Lydia turning in our paper --> it's Lydia. SO INSANE!

So I'm in a Missing People Mood

To Whom it May Concern:

I miss you.


Jeremy: You were always so happy to see me... your smile is so big (as evidenced by this picture). You entertained me so many times, like at All-State and District Band, Busch Gardens... you are so nice to people. And you own at the french horn.



JoAnna: You were SO NICE to me. Even though we were so different, you always laughed at my jokes and made my life 10 times funnier. We agree, you understand me, and you got my back.

Jillian: Times in J-lizm were SO much better with you right there beside me. We both got frustrated together, flipped out about the same things, and even though you're much more girly than I was, times were good. I miss your excitement, your happiness, and sharing opinions on a different level.


Kevin: You were so confident! You could take on anything, but you always said hey to me even though we were more old friends. I'm really glad we could be aides together senior year.

Ryan: I always liked you. You were the nicest person I knew at home. You were always so sweet and considerate to everyone, but had fun and knew how to do things, too. I miss just having your personality next door to the guidance office.

Caitlin: I am so glad we got to hang out together in guidance even after you dropped Music Theory. You are SUCH an amazing person! I miss your talent, your humility, your humor, and your general goodness to everybody. I know you are doing fantabulous things in NYC.



Mr. Flohre: I miss just being able to go to your office whenever I need a break. And you always knew just what to say; either everything, just anything, or nothing.


Nick-NAC: I miss seeing you every day and slightly embarrassing you when I said hello. I miss giving you nicknames and you liking them. I miss making fun of you with Chris, and you stealing my sunglasses. I'm so glad I "discovered" you and Stephen your freshmen year in band.

SACbut: I miss just saying your name... haha. But I also miss you poking me every time you see me and asking if it annoyed me. Sometimes it did, but now I wish I had you to say hi to me every day. I miss being able to joke around with you.


Andrew: I miss being able to hear about your day and then joking on you for complaining about it all the time. I miss sitting in Flohre's office every morning and starting off the day right. I miss eating at Panera whenever we felt like it, and you filling me in on everything newsy I needed to know. I miss seeing you every day.


Jordan: Even though you weren't at home last year, I still miss your excitement. I miss you singing the opening lines from "Hilary: The Musicale" every time I see you, and you always insisting we go out for coffee even though you know I'd really be getting hot chocolate.


Greg: I miss you bunches. Even though you made fun of me... pretty much every day of my life. I kind of miss it when you do it, because you think you're hilarious, even if the joke wasn't, which actually makes the joke hilarious. Which made me not that mad about it. I miss your humor, your funny observations, and your wicked guitar skills that you pretended you didn't have.

Lorraine: I miss your nearness, and your willingness to be there when I needed you. I miss your been-there-done-that advice, and your relentless encouragement. I miss your best friendship.

Rachel: I miss seeing you every day, because we got to be awesome. I miss having someone to share long-haired life with, and someone to make fun of kyle and greg with that was older then them so they'd actually kind of somewhat listen. Ok, maybe not, but we tried. I also miss having a girl in the low brass section, so we could sympathize at the stupidity of the low brass boys together.


Todd: I miss your amazing insight on everything from life to me to the sky to the color purple. I miss your casual attitude and your whole "just take life as it comes" thing going on. I also miss your hand motions. And your foibles. Todd & Chris-isms used to make my days funnier.

Chris: I miss your relentless making fun of me, that you pretended was serious. But also sitting next to you in almost every class and being able to laugh the WHOLE class period at the stupidest things together. And you actually knew things, even though you pretended or thought you didn't. I miss seeing your potential.




Tori: I MISS YOU A LOT. =( You understood, you supported me, and made things all right.


Kyle: Gosh, there are so many things. I guess it just boils down to I miss you a lot, too. I'm sorry.


The Young Women: You made being the only old person all right. It was weird, but you guys were super fun. I miss Claire's pure kindness and Carrie's raised eyebrows at immaturity and Molly's ability to laugh and make a big deal out of anything. Young Women's was fun times, guys, and I hope you realize that.


Matt: Even though you always made fun of us, I knew you liked us, and that's all that mattered. I miss your charisma and watching you work with the SODA kids. I miss riding in your messed up old truck but thinking I was something cool. I miss Ring Dance with you, and the gentleman you became just for me that night.


Matt: I miss your hilariousness. And your stupidity that I could laugh at. And your bear hugs. And your cuteness. And your willingness to subject to whatever Tori & I wanted to do to you. And your mad awesome trumpet skills that you knew you had but pretended to be humble about. That was the funniest part.

Stephen: I miss your jokes and your smile and hello you always had ready. I miss watching you lead people but then be friends with them afterwards. I miss watching you and Matt pick on each other all the time. And you trying to get out of the band officers meetings, even though you were really cool about it and actually helped us get things done. You did things even though you sometimes made it seem you were too cool for them... which I guess is a really great talent. You kept up your cred but also helped people do some really nice things.


Mandy: I miss your sweet kindness and your consent to let me laze around and have the best job ever. I miss having another big sister around.


Mason: I miss your hilarious and sometimes rude but mostly accurate observations of people. I miss sitting next to you every day in band class and getting to make fun of people together and then make fun of you a lot, too.


Christy: I miss being able to roll my eyes at your pessimism and exotic answers to even the smallest of life's questions. I miss your intelligence but then also your romanticism.


Becca: I miss your positivity and our making fun of boys sessions. I miss your drama queenhood and smiling to myself about when I used to be young.

Elizabeth: I miss your PURE AWESOMENESS!!! You are the cutest/nicest person ever on the face of the planet. I miss sitting around in the office with you, making fun of the boys. You are so smart!


Jacob: I miss your insane hilarity and how you could get away with murder as long as you smiled like you do. I miss your plans to build the Hilary Shrine and the chance to sit in the office every morning with you and catch up on just the fun stuff. I love your insanely unfair cuteness factor and your willingness to perform in the school plays... just your aura gives off funness and smiles. And that may sound silly, but it does. Somehow.

History of My Life with the Bittersweet People Called Boys

So Megan, I really appreciated your version of this, & I wanted to write my own basically for my benefit, because I like writing these things out of me, but I guess you can read it too since you're pretty much the only other one. =)

So I've been on about zero dates in my life. Let me explain.

I was in 7th grade when I met Kyle and his best friend Greg. I remember the exact day, which is rare, because I forget most things. We were sitting in the art room, waiting to meet our new Destination Imagination teammates, which I was kind of afraid of because I didn't know either of them, they were just the sons of some friends of my mom, who was our team manager. I always remember that day & marvel at how I was completely oblivious to the ginormous role these two guys would play in my life.

Soon we became the 3 best friends, and everyone knew it. In band, we always hung out together. But for Kyle and I, it was a little different than for me and Greg. People started calling Greg Kyle sometimes when I was with him, because they were so used to saying Kyle & my own names together. I knew it was bad when one day Greg inadvertently referred to himself as Kyle when trying to mean himself and I, because he used Kyle & my names together so often. Everyone just assumed we were dating, even though we weren't. No one even asked, until it came up in conversation and I'd have to correct their assumption for them. I hoped we'd date someday, but I was fine with being friends... Kyle was my best one ever, I think.

The beginning of my senior year was amazing, and my hopes for more than just best-friend-ship were seemingly more possible than ever. Then Christmas break hit... and he was gone all break plus two more weeks in Germany on a service mission for his church. Then his church youth conference he begged me to attend... and the Spirit was there, telling me to get out. Then our trip to New York... when everything fell apart. That's what I wrote my first paper for English on. Things were weird after that, we kind of talked, but not at all like we used to. After a while, I got sick to my stomach when I thought about him, and I dreaded opening his texts because they would undoubtedly be talking about our "unresolved issues". Then came our spring musical, in which we were acting opposite... which at first I was thrilled about, but as events progressed until closing night, I was crying offstage beforehand and letting my rehearsal brain take over for smiling and interacting with him onstage. Then was our cast party afterwards, which went into my birthday morning, and it was pretty much the worst birthday ever invented. I stayed up until 3 answering his "let's resolve our issues" texts after the horrendous party until finally I said it was my birthday and I wanted to go to sleep. Sometime in the days and weeks after that, I avoided him mostly. One week I avoided him completely... we used to sit at lunch together each day, even through the hard days, but that week I managed to skip lunch in the cafeteria one way or another. Thank goodness for my band director, who let me stay in his office even though he probably shouldn't have. I didn't even have to explain, I just asked, and I guess he could tell something was wrong, because he asked Kyle later what was up, that it looked like I was "hiding from something". I kept needing space from Kyle, to get over him completely, but Kyle wouldn't do it, so I stayed away for a week. I think BYU's been good for me in that way at least.

So I met this one guy at Youth Conference sometime in between the me & Kyle years during high school. I don't even remember the circumstances, except that we exchanged email, myspaces, etc. and began to talk... a lot. It was common for us to have 3 different conversations going on at once, one each through email, facebook, and IM. We thought we loved each other, but I realized I couldn't talk to him in person... I was too nervous. I realized this when on Valentine's Day, he drove all the way over to my house to give me a card, even though I tried to persuade him not to. It was again reinforced when the next summer, we went to Busch Gardens together with his brother & my sister. It ended up swell for our siblings, who got together, but not for us, since it was so awkward. I just didn't know what to say. And that next youth conference, we didn't talk at all. He hung out with this girl I used to have sleepovers with back in elementary school who since moved to another ward. I was mostly relieved. We hadn't talked in months and months until I facebooked him a couple weeks ago, just to say a friendly hey, sorry communication got held up, etc. Somehow we got into how much he still liked me. I told him I don't know if I like him or just being liked. I guess I still don't know what I'd say to him in real life.

And then there's the tenor player who was placed next to me all last year during marching band season. We are so much opposites, but I liked his craziness... it kept me in suspense. It was intriguing, you know? I wanted to know him better. On the field, we were both section leaders, and we kept each other in check. We called ourselves yin and yang, the good cop and the bad cop. He'd yell at some poor freshmen, then I'd restate the problem to them nicely so they'd actually want to fix it. We were a good team. At one point he started writing me love notes. They were very polite and formal, and I thought they were a joke. I felt embarrased, and Kyle and I laughed about them. But then he started sticking up for me all the time to people. I had some bad times with people and Mormonism, and he'd always tell me that I knew where he was, and he would beat them up for me anytime. We've since been writing... he's really the only person from home I write, which to most people at home would seem inconceivable since we're so different. What he tells me, I still don't know if I should believe it, I'm paranoid of being caught in a hoax or something. I just don't know if he knows how to charm the ladies, or if there's something more.

Ok, so those weren't really about the non-existent dates in my life, but hopefully these small excerpts of my man issues get the job done, at least for now. See my reasons for needing a man here? =(

A Night Out

So Asia did beautifully at BYU Idol... she sang "The Wizard & I" from Wicked, and she didn't make any mistakes at all. Everyone else in the competition did.



I thought it was really cool that many of our family home evening guys & many other guys from the ward came to support her... very sweet. =) Nate and Alex even came in late because they had a class, and even though they missed Asia's performance, they stayed a while. We have nicer guys in our ward than I thought.

So she didn't get in on the decibel level thing, partly because both Alyssa & I were not in our prime yelling states, but after the show the host guy who helped tally the votes came up to Asia & said she was a very good chance for a wildcard. I thought that was cool of him to come tell her that. After the show, we hit up Jamba; I've never had one. I got a Peanut Butter Moo'd, and it was pretty good. It tasted like a peanut butter and banana sandwich. & I got an influx of Immunity in it, hoping it would magically reduce my cough. We'll see.

The other singers were mostly swell, there was a girl who was quite good who sang "Almost Lover", a song I heard for the first time but really like by Fine Frenzy.... a girl whose last name was Pizza (at least pronounced like pizza) who did a nice rendition of a difficult Whitney Houston song... these two hilarious guys who were somewhat better at dancing, which encouraged a quick dance off... and a guy who sang Josh Groban's "To Where You Are" (which already would get mega points in my book), but also dedicated it to his little cousin who died at age 7 last year after a lifelong fight with cystic fibrosis. Needless to say, I cried. His song really had meaning to me.

So we've planned to attend the next 2 BYU Idol competitions, as well as the Acoustic Explosion held next Wednesday, also for free. We have no idea what it is, but it sounds cool... and also, the free part. I feel like a good, involved college student doing all these wonderful things.

Tomorrow holds Humanities and University Seminar again, after which I will dash over to the testing center to complete my first day of training. I'm heading to breakfast with Megan and Whitney before classes though; I learned they always leave at 7:10, because they have an 8:00 class every morning (barf). But I straightened my hair with Megan's fabulous straightener tonight, so it will take much less time to prepare in the morning, so I figured I can make it. We'll see... I guess going to bed sooner would help with that.