Over My Head

It's interesting, having a blog... even though I haven't posted in a long time, I often still think of things in blog posts. How would I say this? That'd be funny to talk about. You should tell people that, that's important. Ever since I missed my annual ritual of writing some form of journal entry on the eve of my birthday (ok, the only proof I can find for you was from 2009, but trust me, all the rest are in my handwritten journals), I have felt more of a necessity to get back to blogging regularly. This desire may or may not also be enhanced by the fact that I am now home and it is much easier for Dad to bug me to blog again, haha.

So, new writings *may* be coming soon to a blog near you. For today, I wanted to share an idea that's been on my mind for a few weeks. It started when I was telling my family about the recent book I'd been reading, The Tipping Point (a very good book, by the way). It discusses some cool ideas and cites some interesting studies, some of which I shared. When I was finished explaining the concept of the book, Haleigh said, "Well, that all just went over my head!" In the discussion that followed in response, she said, "Most things go over my head. And I'm tall!" To which I said something to the effect of, "Maybe you've just been living all your life hunched over."

At the time, I was thinking of a legitimately very tall friend of mine who constantly hunches over so as to avoid too much attention. It wasn't until Dad brought attention to the potential philosophical and spiritual meanings of what I had said did I recognize them myself.

I sent these ideas to my friend currently on a mission in Peru. Here is what I sent:

"I've been thinking about it all week, and it reminded me of the scripture from 2 Nephi 1:23: 'Awake, my sons; put on the armor of righteousness. Shake off the chains with which ye are bound, and come forth out of obscurity, and arise from the dust. People hunch because they are lazy, afraid of bringing attention to themselves, ashamed, etc... similar reasons people avoid doing the right thing or following the gospel. It's when we arise from the dust, lift our heads out of the obscurity of mediocrity and straighten ourselves up to our full potential that we begin to live like Christ and become a more efficient conduit for the Spirit."

Since that email, I have recognized other references the Lord and His living prophets have made to this idea. "Living below our privilege" is actually a concept that's been spoken about lately several times. President Uchtdorf spoke to the Priesthood about it this past conference. I have changed his references to "brethren" and "priesthood" to more general terms that include the whole church:

The blessings of the gospel transcend our ability to comprehend. Faithful members of the Church can 'become … the elect of God.' They are 'sanctified by the Spirit unto the renewing of their bodies' and can ultimately receive 'all that [the] Father hath.'

....We are faced with a choice. We can be satisfied with a diminished experience as followers of Christ and settle for experiences far below our privileges. Or we can partake of an abundant feast of spiritual opportunity and universal blessings.

Sister Julie Beck also referenced the idea in her recent BYU Devotional address in January. She quoted concerns from President Packer, again specifically about the brethren, but also included an admonition for the sisters to "live up to [their] privilege" from the Prophet Joseph Smith.

It goes back to the reasons for "hunching" I suggested in my original email to my missionary friend. To give a somewhat silly literal example, today I played the organ in sacrament meeting. My former band teacher Mr. Flohre would be very proud, I sat up straight during the time I was on the bench but not playing, listening to the opening remarks. However, when the attention was turned to a boy's confirmation in front of the podium, I subconsciously relaxed and started to slouch. Then I thought, why did I do that? I realized it was because we were about to say a prayer, and no one would see me slouch.

No one would see me. I was literally hunching over because I was lazy. I am living below my privilege of having consistent perfect posture and carriage because I am too lazy to keep it up when no one's looking. Yes, I obviously put little effort in keeping my integrity of posture.

But seriously. It is easy to see how human nature and error can keep us from raising our head above what we have become used to see the glorious heavens that lay above.

As a last illustration of this idea, this past week I thought of the story of Plato's Cave. (I first became aware of this story, from Plato's book The Republic, in my high school band class, as we played the song, "Escape from Plato's Cave".)

Basically, Plato tells of a fictional tribe that is chained in a cave, facing the back wall, away from the sun and cave entrance. They are chained in a way so that they can not turn their heads; all they can see is the shadows of the world outside their cave. Since they have been chained this way since childhood, this is all they know, and all they believe the world to be.

One day, one of the prisoners frees himself and exits the cave. At first, he is irritated and annoyed as the bright sunlight pierces his eyes for the first time. But as he begins to get used to the light and develop this "new habit of sight", he recognizes the real, truer, and more vibrant images outside the cave that he only saw shadows of before. He runs back to tell his fellow tribe members, but they don't believe his accounts of something better, and put him to death.

I really like this story and how it goes along with the ideas of living below our privilege... we have seen shadows and small doses of Heavenly Father's greatness and love in our own lives, and maybe we think that's all there is. But there is love and power so much more invigorating and all-encompassing than we can ever imagine, if we only take it upon ourselves to escape our bonds and change our vision. As it was for the escaped prisoner, the change may be painful or irritating at first, but the glory of our new sight and recognition of our full potential and privilege will quickly replace all hurt.

May we no longer live letting things go over our heads; straighten up!

EFY

To me, this picture sums up EFY. Do I remember what I was doing as I was caught in this ridiculous pose? No. I just remember that that night was a ton of fun. Some of the kids are participating with me, some are bored or looking at other groups. But those that put effort and love and heart into our group learned something, I know it. I know it because their involvement helped me learn something. Like it's ok to be crazy and I don't have to worry that I look stupid in this photograph, because I'm all in. I was 110% there. And when you were all in to EFY, great things happened. Not just great relationships or competitions, but great spiritual experiences, because you were all in to the Spirit.

Remember Who You Are

These words spoken to Simba in The Lion King always just sailed right over my head. Whenever, in movies or in conversation, people always talked about "finding themselves", I just didn't know what that meant. I still don't know. Do I not know who I am? How does one for sure know oneself? Must you know your purpose in life, or what you will do in every possible situation, or just what you like? Why do you often have to Ieave your home or your place of comfort to find out who you really are?

I guess, in a broader sense, this applies to us as children of God. We are here to "find ourselves" on Earth. To find how we act with our agency and not in close proximity to our Father. To find what kind of people we act like and what we will do in our free time and what we think about when we can choose to think about anything at all. We can choose to act like our Father's children, or not.

With these things applied to our Earthly life with our parents, and how I suppose one often "finds oneself" at college, how am I defined? Do I like acting who I act like, or am I ashamed of finding their characteristics in me? Am I willing to be defined by what I do in my free time? Am I ashamed of what I think about when I am alone and responsibility-free? Would God be ashamed to claim me as his Child?

Who Am I?

the Name of the Game

I was talking with a friend today (ok, more like I was listening to a friend today), and I just kept thinking about how much this person was blaming everyone and everything else other than themself for their issues and problems and hard times.... i.e. I blame my friends for not understanding how I feel, I blame her for thinking too much about herself and not being attentive to my needs, I blame my teacher for not listening to me, I blame my pastor for being a normal man, I blame what happened for my current problems. I mean, I feel so bad for this friend, because they have been through so many terrible and awful things; I understand that. Listening to them has just made me realize how much the gospel really does play a part in my life... I mean, I know I can blame people unreasonably a lot, too, but I just feel the comfort that if I or when I have to go through something big like that, I can understand it, through Heavenly Father. I can forgive and move on. I think my friend was right when they said they would never be able to forget or get that part of their soul back, but I find comfort in knowing that through Christ, I will be able to forgive, love, and grow again.

Other people may not understand what they've gone through; I don't understand the depths of all that this person has had to endure, but I feel we need to act hoping people will treat us kindly and with love and respect, but prepared for the possibility that they will not be, and will be normal, fallible, sometimes disappointing or annoying human beings. I know that I myself am one of the most normal, fallible, disappointing, and annoying human beings around some days. But I hope people begin to realize I am trying to change that. I hope my friend will have faith not only in the Lord, but in the people around them; that they are beautiful and good people at heart and they are trying their best. Sometimes other people's best doesn't seem good enough for us, but I have to remember that it is good enough for our Heavenly Father. It is days like this that truly make me realize that the Lord knows what he's doing when he brings two people together. I have so much to learn.

My Life Cornerstone

This past Sunday was my first back in "Old Lady" Relief Society, as last week I was swept out to accompany the joyous primary children, as per my last summer's calling. (Actually, now that I think about it, I probably went to RS only like once after I graduated last summer as a result of that calling, too.) I immediately took a liking to these ladies when I realized they had remembered to place my birthday on the May newsletter. That's right. But what I also found on the newsletter I found very inspiring:

"Each of us has a cornerstone box within our hearts, and as we go through life, we put things into that box... At one point after this life, we are going to open that cornerstone box in front of our Savior, in front of our Maker. Hopefully, it will not empty." (President Rodolfo C. Franco)

Temple President Franco said this at the Draper Temple Dedication, which I was even there for (but admittedly dozing off). But what a scary thought... that the box that is the cornerstone of our lives, what we have built everything on, might be empty when we open it in front of the Savior. I think of it like all my life's greatest achievements will be placed in my cornerstone box; but if they are not the kind of achievements that make me a better and more Christlike person, my box will be embarrassingly empty when I open it, intending to impress the Savior.

Wow.

So, to help me visualize the deepness of this quote, I made my own cornerstone box. I stayed up late and made it that very night. I haven't put anything into it yet, but I have some ideas. I can't just throw things into the box; this is my eternal progression we're talking about.

Longer

Every Christmas since I can remember, Dad's given me a "book bag" filled with all sorts of books, DVDs, CDs, piano books, the like. This Christmas he gave me a CD by a boy named Darin Southam... I assume he's LDS, but I thought I knew what he would be and so I just hadn't been in the mood to listen to it. But recently, after his "Pie Jesu" came up on my Quiet Music shuffle list one time, I've been stuck on it, and him in general. He's not really phenomenal, but I guess these past few days have just lent itself to him. I realized I loved the songs he sings; "The Valley Clear", "Come What May" from Moulin Rouge, "What A Wonderful World", and especially "Longer". I recognized that I had heard the song before, but I can't believe it hadn't touched me like it did before. I think it's so beautiful, and perfect for an LDS audience; because love really is eternal, in both directions... I like to think that just as we will love and be with our future spouse after we die, we loved them and knew them in the pre-mortal life, too. We just have to find them here.

Longer than there've been fishes In the ocean
Higher than any bird ever flew
Longer than there've been stars
Up in the heavens
I've been in love with you.

Stronger than any mountain cathedral
Truer than any tree ever grew
Deeper than any forest primeval
I am in love with you.

I'll bring fires in the winters
You'll send showers in the springs
We'll fly through the falls and summers
With love on our wings.

Through the years as the fire starts to mellow
Burning lines in the book of our lives
Though the binding cracks and the pages start to yellow
I'll be in love with you.

Longer than there've been fishes in the ocean
Higher than any bird ever flew
Longer than there've been stars
Up in the heavens
I've been in love with you
I am in love with you...