Lame.

(Note: Please imagine that title in your head in that evil octupusy man's voice from
Monsters vs. Aliens.)

I feel one should freely admit when they have been lame. I have come to realize that doing so makes people more amenable to forgiving you. I mean, once you admit you're in the wrong, what else can they say but maybe, "yeah you are!" The steam's gone. No one can hate you anymore. It works like a charm.

Ok, so the admitting thing is really for me, so I can forgive myself. This blog is mostly for me, and I have neglected it. I have been lame about recording my life. Which is so totally awesome and needs to be recorded for future posterity, and for me when I forget. So one of my goals for this New Year is to be better and write more often with this blog. That doesn't mean you will have to become a more studious reader or anything, it's mostly for me. I want to look back someday and look at all the little things that happened in my life and smile, knowing they helped make me the person I am. As Kathleen Kelly says in You've Got Mail,

"All this nothing has meant more to me than so many somethings."

So here's to the nothings in life; the nothings that, in the end, add up to great somethings. I hope I can be better at recording these this year!

Happy 2010!!

Gettin Froze

Today was one of the coldest days I have ever lived through. You know it's bad when your nose hairs are freezing. (Yes. It happened to me, ok?) This, along with my frozen hair, frozen ears, frozen face, and the snow turning to ice on the sidewalks made for quite a painful walk to class this morning.

I usually like the cold infinitely better than the heat. You can always put on more clothes when it's cold, but you can't do much of anything when it's hot. However, this theory becomes as dirty snow when you're walking to class and can't go put on more clothing. When you are so frozen it is if you are in a fireplace, there is a problem. From now on, I will be wearing super warm clothing and may or may not resemble a marshmallow. Please don't stare, especially if I fall down on the ice (my worst fear). It's hypothermic out there.

Matching Monday: Dating!

Being the total champion professional that I am about dating, I agreed to once again participate in the topic my blogmates Cortney and Katie picked for our Monday blog conglomerate. (Which Katie so aptly decided to name Matching Monday.) With encouragement from Cort and Katie, I have figured out my angle.

I consider myself somewhat of a mother of the household, or maybe like a sad/weird spinster aunt that a family just has to allow to live in the house because they feel sorry for her. (See: Jane Austen. Susan B. Anthony. Emily & Anne Bronte. Emily Dickinson.) I just have never really been the dating type, so I've always been on the periphery, observing, creeping, and storing away information for my future use. (Now, you may be saying, "but Hilary, you're dating someone now," but consider this irrelevant at the moment.) As my roommates and friends go off on dates, I stay at home. But really, I've become okay with this. I was okay with it before I started dating Kurt, but now I'm just relieved I have a reason to stay in the house and not date. Here are some things I have learned from observing my beautiful, dateable, personable friends through the years:

1. You should be happy in a relationship. Don't date someone because you feel obligated! Learn to tell Man NO. Don't pity date. It just makes you and Man feel unhappy and uncomfortable and the poor guy feels worthless. Telling the truth might hit him hard, but in the long run, it'll be good for you and him.

2. Relationships need to be healthily balanced into your priorities. When you date a man, he does not automatically become the center of your universe. One should maintain a balance, cultivating other relationships with friends (especially those whom you've had longer than you've known Man) and family (whom you've known longer than anybody). Do not place relationship with Man higher than especially schoolwork, sleep, eating, and sanity. Your physical, emotional, social, intellectual, and spiritual well-being will affect you a lot longer than Man may.

3. It doesn't matter what you say or do, just that you're together. Obviously good conversation and appropriate activities are important, too, but I think being comfortable with someone in silence is good. You don't have to prove your genius or be worried about what you'll say next when you're in a good relationship. You can say nothing or anything at all, and it'll all be good.

4. You do not need a Man to be awesome. I know everyone says this. But seriously, girls, YOU ARE TOTALLY AWESOME!!!! I knew girls in high school that always had to be in a relationship. I felt this same way at different points in my life, but if you focus on other things, such as making yourself better, your testimony, your schoolwork, etc., you will learn to love yourself. And when you love yourself, how can a guy keep from loving you, too?!

5. Be willing to sacrifice for each other. If he does all the sacrificing, one day he's going to explode all over you. Relationships are two-sided (not counting the Lord, of course), and need input and work and cultivation and love from both parties involved. Show your commitment and care by compromising with him even when you'd rather have your way. A really sweet guy will want to do everything and anything for you, but really. Doing absolutely everything gets old after a while.

6. Don't feel inferior if you are not being asked on dates. Boys are shy. (See: Kurt.) And don't like to plan. (See: Kristian.) And are lazy. (See: Boys.) And some just don't understand girl auras, but don't let that get you down. Heavenly Father loves you just the same if you are with a boy or not. I survived 19 years of not being asked on a single date (and I guess I never still have *technically* been asked on one, bahaha). Just enjoy being around guys and having guy friends. If you feel comfortable asking a boy out, I say go for it! Show them boys who's boss!

I know everyone's heard this all before, but really, gals; I love you, your family loves you, and most importantly, Heavenly Father loves you. When you find someone you can love and respect and be attracted to and who makes you want to be better, stick with him. Dating seems hard, especially with all the accompanying stigma courtesy of BYU, but I promise you, a smart, handsome, perfect-for-you Man will come your way some day. Don't let him pass you by because you're moping or settling for less or angry with life. He will love you!!

(Ok sorry, that was pretty soap-boxy and mother-like. Hope no one's rolling their eyes or gagging or gnashing their teeth or anything. I'm done.)

"Silvery-Toed Slippers of Snow"

(this post brought to you by inspiration of Kurt.)
I love winter. Especially here in Utah, where it's actually all the goodness of winter, not just the annoying aspects. Here's why:

I love cold. It gets cold, and cold makes you have to bundle up and you feel all cozy and warm and safe and peaceful. When you go outside, the cold snaps at your face and makes you feel alive and awake and bright. Your cheeks get rosy, which make you look smiley and happy inside.

I love Christmas. I love Christmas traditions and being with my family. I love putting up Christmas decorations and coming home to a more friendly house, because there's trees sparkling from inside the windows. I love the quietness I feel when I just lay on the couch, lights off, watching the Christmas tree. Christmas just brings peace and joy. The present opening isn't even my favorite so much anymore, I just absolutely love the Christmas feeling that is everywhere after Thanksgiving. It's cheesy, I know, but really... I don't think I'm alone in this Christmasy attitude.

I love Christmas music. There's something about it; I guess it just makes me carry my Christmasy love with me all day. I get excited and energized and so happy inside. Christmas is love! Christmas is glee! Christmastime begs exuberance, and Christmas music just stocks up my energy storage tank for the day.

I love snow. The white makes everything look magical and mystical and peaceful and so quiet. It's like a blank canvas for thinking as I walk along through it. It quiets everyone and everything down, making them take a moment to stop and consider the wonder that is Christmas. I feel like I'm the one blessed person in the world when it snows.

I love food. And winter is the season of eating. Who cares what you eat, it's winter! It's Thanksgiving! It's Christmas! Wonderful, delicious, time-consuming treats show your appreciation of the season! Winter's so great, it deserves being enjoyed while snacking on delectable chocolate, cookies, baked goods, and hot cocoa.

I love decorations. Lights, trees, wreaths, candles, and bows, I love it! It's like a big unifying tradition of love; I love Christmas, you love Christmas, our houses decorated together make Christmas all the more happy. We share in a tradition no matter how different we may be. I also love visiting the temple to see the lights and displays... Beautiful!

Matching Monday: Stephanie

Katie, Cortney, and I just formed a blog coalition in which every Monday, we will all agree on a topic and each write about it in our blogs. Since Stephanie scoffed at this idea, we delegated the job of choosing the topics to her, so this evening, I will be discussing

Stephanie Jo Staples.

S o, Steph likes
T o make fun of me. But,
E verything's good, I make fun of her, too. Steph, when
P leased, is the cutest thing
H ilary has ever seen. She reminds me of a small child,
A nd everyone really likes her bedhead when she awakes each morning.
N ever have
I ever met someone quite like Stephanie, but
E gads, has she taught me a lot!

Thanks, Steph!! =)

P.S. also thanks for walking with me to class every Tuesday & Thursday.
P.P.S. also thanks for not getting angry at me every time I ask if you got the mail today.
P.P.P.S. also thanks for letting me live.

Winter Semester

Reasons I am Excited for Winter Semester:

- Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith with Megan & Katie!
- Katie, my supervisor from the TC, in my History of Utah class.
- Finally finishing the base class for my major.
- Starting my english teaching minor.
- I know how much and what food to buy.
- I work more hours.
- Class only on Tuesday & Thursdays, with one Wednesday evening.

Thanksgiving

the Big 1-0-0

So, as I was mentally preparing myself to formulate another blog post this afternoon, I happened to realize that my next post would be my 100th blog entry. And, thinking that 100 is no light matter, I pushed my other entry to the side (hopefully actually to the top, where it shall be if I am able to make myself post it after I am through with this one). To kill two birds with one stone and also celebrate the upcoming Thanksgiving, here's my list of

100 Things I Have Learned to be Grateful For

since my first post on September 10th, 2008.

1. My parents, and the values and methods and beliefs and respect they instilled within me.
2. Sisters nearby.
3. Missionaries willing to sacrifice to serve.
4. Professors who understand what it's like to be a young adult.
5. Agency to make my own choices.
6. People who have the courage and kindness to be friendly.
7. ClearPlay DVD players.
8. Vehicles and modes of transportation so travel is more quick and painless than ever.
9. People who enjoy food as much as I do.
10. Nature and the beauty of fall.
11. Warm clothes on a cold, windy day.
12. A microwave to make my wait for dinner more manageable.
13. People who open my mind to new ideas and points of view.
14. Electronic Reserve at the library, so I don't have to leave my apartment.
15. Color, and how it brightens my whole attitude.
16. My fun, rewarding, easy job at the Testing Center.
17. The opportunity to be married for eternity in a partnership with God in one of His temples.
18. Blogs, Facebook, Twitter, etc. so I can keep up with everyone I love.
19. Google and other smart people who make technologically amazing things useable for free.
20. Other students who share their passion for learning.
21. A clean home.
22. Parents and people who believe in you and your ability to choose the right.
23. The importance of each day, even though they seem to fly by.
24. Cable.
25. Smiling, and how I simply feel happier each time I do it.
26. The vibration setting on my cellphone.
27. The opportunity to learn about what I love.
28. Christmas music.
29. Friendship, and how especially rewarding it is after you work hard at it.
30. Classes that fit into my desired time slots.
31. Money enough so that I can get some of my wants, too.
32. Movies that are happy, optimistic, and uplifting.
33. The outlines that Heavenly Father has lovingly given us.
34. My getting a place in the WWII class.
35. The self-assurance to be able to laugh about embarrassing things later.
36. The motivation to get things done.
37. The gospel, which, as well as other things, reminds me of my eternal importance as a daughter of God.
38. Leadership of the Church, who show me that older people are a lot kinder and wiser than I sometimes think.
39. Couples who show me an example of how I want to be in my eternal relationship.
40. Friends who are boys with no dating stigma attached.
41. The hope and faith in a bright and happy future.
42. People who remind me to be tolerant.
43. Being reminded of my own faults and deficiencies.
44. Photos, to more easily remember my history.
45. Exercise and staying healthy.
46. Pizza, the sustenance of life.
47. Peanut butter, which practically never expires.
48. Coincidences, which just show you Heavenly Father's omnipotent watch over each of us.
49. Writing the number 8.
50. A convenient and nearby piano.
51. The Christmas feeling.
52. Light, and how it makes you just feel happier and less dull, too.
53. Unlimited texting.
54. Movie marathons.
55. The importance of free time in keeping one's sanity.
56. Talents, and people's willingness to share them.
57. Slide-out keyboards on cellphones.
58. People and agencies who provide financial help for me to go to school.
59. People who follow through with their dreams and desires to help others.
60. Getting mail.
61. Having stamps.
62. A laundry facility in one's house.
63. Living today, in this time, with these freedoms and rights and privileges and opportunities we have right now.
64. The people who lived, worked, fought, and died for us to get where we are today.
65. Examples of strong faith in the gospel, even through hard times.
66. My mom's cooking, which I didn't take advantage of enough at home.
67. Precipitation!
68. Non-squeaky beds.
69. People who love and share with a smile and ne'er a complaint.
70. Not having to play sports.
71. People who care enough to keep in contact.
72. Not being raised to be super uptight or demanding or rude or crass or violent.
73. Forgiveness.
74. Cute shoes.
75. Dressing nicely and feeling beautiful.
76. Flowers.
77. Pumpking-carving patterns.
78. The ingredients on hand to cook anything you want whenever you want.
79. Kissing.
80. When the store has the exact color in stock that you need.
81. Online shopping.
82. Psych, which makes me laugh and feel friendly.
83. Long-lasting batteries, so I never have to charge my iPod.
84. Having a confidante to tell everything I need to get out of me to.
85. Living in a relatively safe area where I really needn't fear rape or murder or violent criminal activity.
86. The revitalizing power of sleep.
87. Being able to remember what I can, at least.
88. For a Heavenly Father who knows us the best and knows what's best for us even when we don't know it ourselves.
89. Alone time.
90. A dishwasher.
91. Openable windows.
92. Conference and the easy accessibility of all Church talks, devotionals, firesides, etc.
93. The ability to say what I want through writing.
94. Other people's ideas and willingness to help.
95. Working facilities, electricity, utilities, etc.
96. My own computer.
97. Creativity, which empowers and blesses everyone.
98. Birthdays, and being able to celebrate each persons' importance and value to the world.
99. The experience of being in band in high school.
100. Kurt.

O Ye of Little Faith

I have always hated proctoring in the main testing room (the "big room") at the Testing Center. I avoid it if at all possible. I happily sign up to proctor the Music Room and stamp the incoming tests for the day, but secretly hope no one will notice the absence of my name in the Big Room column. I just feel like I am such a bad proctor; I never catch anyone doing anything bad, I can never find out whose cellphone went off, and I can't muster up the courage to confront anyone about a questionable circumstance.

But today, the Big Room was unavoidable. When we opened at 10, no one had signed up to proctor, so Katie, our supervisor, was calling people out and asking them to go proctor. How can one say no to the supervisor? My sneaking around, "forgetting" to sign the board had failed.

So I walk into the testing room. Within 5 minutes I find a guy who's using scratch paper from yesterday. Though it didn't seem he was cheating, I thought I was pretty awesome for catching it. Then, 5 minutes later, I spot a guy get up from a seat and go find another seat. Fishy by definition. The guy is looking pretty intensely at the girl next to him's test as he took the new seat, so I casually walk over between them and lo and behold, they are taking the same test. A religion one, no less.

As I walk back trying to get a good angle to see where dude man is looking (his baseball hat hides a lot), another student stops me and says, "I've got a better view of that one." As it was apparent he did, and it would be hard for me to maneuver into seeing him better, I asked the guy to tell me if he saw anything. "I'm saying, I've already seen it." Um, could this cheat-catching be any more easy for me?

I go back to the front, talk to the supervisor, and we send in another employee to see the boy cheating. "By the mouth of two or more witnesses shall the truth be made known"... even at the Testing Center, yo. The other employee was in there for max 30 seconds and then came back out, claiming it was the most obvious thing he's ever seen. Since I'm wearing the nametag, it's my job to go in there and gather the guy's test materials and escort him to the supervisor. I always pictured myself being so scared and nervous in confronting someone like that... but I guess because everyone knew what he was doing, especially himself, I wasn't worried.

After cheat-man was in the custody (that makes it sound like such a bad crime, hahaha) of Katie, I went back into the Big Room to conclude my proctoring shift. Let me tell you, I felt like the biggest, best proctor that ever lived. I felt like Master Champion Cheater-Catcher (even though I didn't really do anything. And then, as icing on the cake, someone's cellphone went off not 5 minutes later... and I was standing one row over from her. I have *never* been able to tell who the cellphone culprit was. This was fate.

So I don't know why Heavenly Father felt the need to boost my Testing-Center-self-esteem, but I'm glad He did. Today at work was one of the best days I can remember working there, and I've realized it's all in the attitude. I was so much more positive and happy after feeling confident I was doing good at my job. Thanks for such a great lesson, Father.

P.S. As like, icing on top of the icing on the cake, Katie said my report I filled out on the incident was so good, and it read like a story. Score one for writing skills.

What is This Great Thing Called Television

So, I have gained a reputation amongst my roommates for being the TV-watcher of the family. I am ok with this, because I know I watch a lot of TV. I like TV. I like watching my shows. I find nothing wrong with this, as I also keep up with my homework.

But TV sucks you in. I find myself debating which show would be the lesser of two borings to watch when I just have nothing else to do (or can't find the motivation to do anything else). I find myself watching shows I don't really need to watch. (Well, do I really need to watch anything? I suppose not.)

What also exacerbates my new disease is that our internet is the worst in the world (well, maybe I shouldn't make it even more angry at me) and is super slow and we can't watch any shows on it (or even listen to playlist.com anymore... yes, my life is much less musical now). So is this bad? I'm keeping up in class. I'm getting my homework done. So is watching a few unnecessary episodes of things like Ultimate Cake-Off and Say Yes to the Dress and Law and Order and Glee and King of Queens so bad?

Ok, probably.