DAY 4 - Jaime

Official Topic: Your Sibling or Closest Relative
My Take: One of My Fabulous Sisters

I have 3 sisters. I will be speaking on my youngest sister later in this monthly challenge, and my closest sister in age is just so awesome I can't find a challenge category to contain her. Jaime, who is 4 1/2 years older than me, is my oldest sister.

Dear Jaime,

When I was growing up I thought you were really weird. The only three things I really remember from when we lived at home together is once when I was little, I was really angry at you and Megan, so I wrote on a piece of paper, "You are DUMB!!!" and slipped it under your door. Except I spelled "dumb" as "dom." And so when you guys read it you busted up laughing and I was just even angrier. And then you made fun of me for it for the rest of my life (so far).

Number two is one night I was allowed to sleep over in yours and Megan's room. You both were in your loft beds, but you made me stay up really late just listening to you and Megan say some phrase so I could guess which one of you was saying it. Because someone said you guys sounded alike. But I got it right every time. Also a different time I spent the night in your room you told me that if a nightlight didn't have a cover/shade over it, it would explode and burn up the whole house.

Third thing is that one time you sat on the living room floor and read Wikipedia articles out loud about people who ate human feces. And you thought it was really funny, especially when I asked you to stop because it was disgusting. (Okay, that's the last time I tell that story, I promise.)

But I have learned that even though you enjoy making fun of me and making me uncomfortable, it is not out of spite or dislike like I once imagined. You just have a different sense of humor than I. And even though you and your fiance are weird sometimes, I'm truly glad you found someone after your own heart.

Watching you throughout the years has taught me a lot about relationships and what I should and should not expect in my own future spouse. I have also grown to respect your enthusiasm and envy your ability to talk to anyone. Overall you have been a great example to me, and have been patient with me as I have learned to respect you. Thanks for putting up with me all these years, Jaime. I'm so glad I can come to your wedding in October!!

Love,
Hilary

DAY 3 - Lisa & Dallas

Official Topic: My Parents
My Take: My Awesome Parents

Dear Mom & Dad,

I'm sorry I have been such a whiner sometimes. And such an avoider of work. Really, I have been a pretty lazy daughter. But I am so stinkin' grateful for my roommates last semester, because they taught me how to be grateful for you!

Sometimes growing up I wondered why you did things your way, and why it mattered so much to you. Now I can see it, and you guys knew exactly what you were talking about. Everything you did had a reason, and it was to help us be our best. You admitted your mistakes and helped me correct mine. You never demanded of me what you knew I could not do.

You have faith in me, and you can see who I can become. I am grateful there's someone here beside me who can see that girl, when I can't. And best of all, you show her to me with humor and love and forgiveness. Even when it's hard, you've always set a Christlike example for your children to follow. When I was young, I didn't want to be anything like you when I was a parent; but now, I hope I can be even half as successful as you were. Thank you for your sacrifices. It's working, guys.

Love,
Your Daughter Hilary

DAY 2 - Twins

Official Topic: My Crush
My Take: All Those Poor Boy Twins & Best Friends I Mistreated Throughout My Life

I feel like it'd be a little repetitive if I wrote about Kurt every time one of these kind of challenge days came up, so I wanted to talk about a crush I'd had in my frivolous youth. I thought about my first crush, in preschool; which was actually kindof two, since they were twins, John and David. And then I realized I must have a thing for twins/best-friends-who-might-as-well-be-twins, because I thought of more than one other sets that I have had crushes on throughout the years. Yes, in each case I liked both of them, ok? I am a creepy love loser. And I know that twins are different people, it just happened. A lot. So here's to you, boys.

Dear You Guys,

I am so sorry. I'm a loser. Thanks to each of you for still being my friend, even though I was being player-ish. Like I said, I have grown up to realize I was a frivolous girl. One who wasn't grateful enough for what she already had and couldn't make up her mind. One who put her own wants above anyone else's.

Some of you I believe I seriously hurt, some of you we only ever had fun, and some of you taught me who I was. (Yes, there's a lot of someones of you, ok? I know.) Thank you for being some of the greatest friends I have ever had. I think in some ways I was envious of that connection you had with your brother; I wanted a bond like that with somebody. I was just seeking it in each of the wrong (creepy) places.

Again, I am sorry, but secretly, I am pleased I ever knew each of you. That's the selfish streak still in me that shone the brightest when I liked you and your brother. Don't worry, I have myself under better control now. Thanks for helping me realize that lack of self-control, even if it took me a multitude of years to pick up on it.

Most Sincerely,
Hilary

DAY 1 - Tori

Official Topic: My Best Friend
My Take: One of My Greatest Friends

I recently wrote a post about my lack of a best best friend. Perhaps my definition of a best friend is too selfish, but we can analyze that later. For today, I'll tell you about Tori, who is one of my great friends.

Dear Tori,

I don't remember helping you after school when you were in middle school, but something must have clicked. I do remember when I was the tuba section leader, and we needed another tubist. I was so excited to suggest you. The first day you came to band camp you were wearing jeans. I was nervous how you'd turn out, but you've become one of the best leaders and contributors to the band I still love.

I am so proud to call you my friend. You are talented, passionate, and responsible. Having you there to talk to and laugh with and whisper to made marching band so much more exciting. I looked forward to it each and every day.

It still amazes me that you are only one year older than my little sister. I compare all the younger people I know to you, which probably isn't fair to them. You're so old for your age, which I think helped us connect even though we are 3 years apart. Thank you for sticking by me even though distance was easier. Thank you for hanging out with me even though I was much older than you, especially by high school years. Thank you for always caring about me, even though you have plenty of other people who want your attention. Thank you for making me feel special.

Love Always,
Hilary

While We're Young

This past weekend I hosted a reunion for the kids of my first week at EFY (our company was "Shall Not Be Burned"). There were many memorable moments from the weekend, but this one sticks out to me.

We were driving to a Tri-Stake dance Saturday night, and the ride on the highway was so therapeutic, with the beautiful night sky and the quiet lights of cars in front of us. Gentry, one of our kids, was driving, and he put in the EFY CD from 2009. I thought this was slightly cheesy, especially because I wanted some exciting music to get us pumped for the dance, but he turned it to this song, While We're Young.



At first I thought this song was just another cheese-fest, but then I tried to listen. The song was obviously important to my kids, who were belting along with it (and sounding amazing, like they do). I realized, we're not always going to be young. There's so many things going for us young people, but are we really making the most of them? At that moment, I was at peace knowing I was living my youth as I should be - surrounded by other fantastic youth of the church who are Captain Moroni's in the gospel.

I also love how it says to "dream big, and love even bigger." Sometimes I worry if it's ok to hope and wish for grand things in the future, but it is ok. We should be planning who we want to become. And loving "even bigger" will help us become that person. I feel like I love a decent amount, but everyone can love "even bigger" or even better or even purer.

Recently I've felt like this summer I've been mostly stagnant. I haven't really done anything that's of great import in the grand scheme of my life, except those two weeks I spent at EFY. Our evening drive on Saturday helped remind me of the good choices I have made, and helped reassure me that I can make good choices in the future, too. I need to. Because those EFY kids are so great, and they are the best humbling and motivating force I have ever experienced.

I love those moments when you just know the Spirit is there. When you just know the gospel is true, and all doubts in your mind don't matter any longer. I've learned how to recognize that feeling from these youth, and I hope I never forget it.

All Grown Up

Last Friday I had the pleasure of chaperoning a Young Women's sleepover at our YW President's house. The girls enjoyed playing Harry Potter Scene It, eating delicious snacks, painting each others' nails, and staying up all (yes, A-L-L) night watching the Harry Potter movies. I hadn't planned on staying the night, but my parents suckered me into it as they moaned about waking up at 8AM to go pick Haleigh up. (And ok, also I wasn't exactly sure how to get home by myself in the dark.)

The decision to stay was probably one of the silliest decisions I ever made. As if I got any sleep that night. I laugh at myself now because I actually thought they would be quiet if people were trying to sleep.

I did learn something from the experience though; I'm glad I'm a grown-up now. In situations like these, it's easier.

Bosom Friend

I've never really had a girl best friend. When I was in elementary school, and it was cool to have best friends, I would always say it was one of my friends who had moved away, so no one would feel bad it wasn't them (or be able to refute my claim). In middle school it didn't matter as much, but in high school I had some friends who came pretty close. I knew plenty of people and had many I was friendly with, but they always had another friend who was even bester than I. They always called someone else to gossip about boys or share their secrets with.

I don't know what I did wrong. But I do think it's a natural longing in everyone to be someone's one and only. This shows itself in marriage and dating relationships, but I think the more overlooked and under-appreciated is the one and only best friend; the "bosom friend," as Anne Shirley always said.

"A bosom friend--an intimate friend, you know--a really kindred spirit to whom I can confide my inmost soul. I've dreamed of meeting her all my life. I never really supposed I would, but so many of my loveliest dreams have come true all at once that perhaps this one will too. Do you think it's possible?" [Anne of Green Gables, Chapter VIII]

I guess it's more my desire to be somebody else's bosom friend. That's probably my selfishness rearing its head again. But I console myself in knowing I have found perhaps the most important bosom friend, the man I love.

Big Sister

Today, I made something to help Haleigh. Mom came in after Haleigh told her about it and hugged me and said, "Thank you for being such a good big sister."

Honestly, I've never really thought of myself as a big sister, much less a good one. The big sisters in our family were always Jaime and Megan, and Haleigh and I are the little sisters. But things have been very different without the "big sisters" home anymore, and I've grown to be very grateful that I wasn't the oldest (I'm not firstborn material).

And honestly, for the vast majority of my life, I was awful to Haleigh. We fought all the time. I always had to get the last word in. I had to comment after everything she did that I thought was ridiculous (which was most things). She was so different than me I didn't want to be associated with her.

I've been working on it though. And I think we've both grown up the past few years. I wanted to do something to help Haleigh because I actually sat down and talked to Mom about her yesterday. She has a harder life than I knew, and I can be a big part in making it better for her.

So I'm trying. It's hard, sometimes she still disgusts me or just plucks my every nerve, but I love her. And I want to keep on being a good big sister for her. She's my only little sister.

EFY

To me, this picture sums up EFY. Do I remember what I was doing as I was caught in this ridiculous pose? No. I just remember that that night was a ton of fun. Some of the kids are participating with me, some are bored or looking at other groups. But those that put effort and love and heart into our group learned something, I know it. I know it because their involvement helped me learn something. Like it's ok to be crazy and I don't have to worry that I look stupid in this photograph, because I'm all in. I was 110% there. And when you were all in to EFY, great things happened. Not just great relationships or competitions, but great spiritual experiences, because you were all in to the Spirit.

Got the Message Yet?

I feel like that's what Heavenly Father's been saying to me lately. He's sent me many slaps in the face to say, "Just be patient already and keep waiting." Here's the slaps I've collected so far:


[Sung at EFY]

"Waiting can be hard. Children know it, and so do adults. We live in a world offering fast food, instant messaging, on-demand movies, and immediate answers to the most trivial or profound questions. We don't like to wait. Some even feel their blood pressure rise when their line at the grocery store moves slower than those around them.

Patience-- the ability to put our desires on hold for a time-- is a precious and rare virtue. We want what we want, and we want it now. Therefore, the very idea of patience may seem unpleasant and, at times, bitter.

Nevertheless, without patience, we cannot please God; we cannot become perfect. Indeed, patience is a purifying process that refines understanding, deepens happiness, focuses action, and offers hope for peace....

If children are every going to mature and reach their potential, they must learn to wait." - President Dieter F. Uchtdorf
[Excerpt Quoted in Ward Bulletin]

[Full Talk Read Separately at EFY}


[Heard at the Fabric Store in Minnesota}