Don't feel like you have to read this; you will probably think I'm a lot more self-absorbed than I hope I really am if you actually do, so feel free to skim right over it. I just needed to think it out.
It's that time of year again where all my friends still in HS are deciding where they're headed and finding out what scholarships they've gotten and stuff. I just feel... dumb this time of year. BYU was the only school I applied to, and my acceptance was practically assured to everyone except myself in my doubting moments. (Sorry, I guess that was obvious since it's the only place I applied.) I was happy and grateful for the scholarship I received, having gotten the lowest possible GPA to receive the scholarship I'd been planning on/hoping for (according to that matrix thing with GPA & ACT score). But I couldn't help thinking that if I just went to a school around home, I would have gotten more scholarship money and maybe not have had to take out a student loan like I did at the end of winter semester. It's just... I was 6th in my class here in HS, and I *know* that many of my friends and others in my class who stayed around here got totally full ride with benefits scholarships, but they had lower GPAs then I did and stuff.... sigh. People at BYU are so good and smart and talented and beautiful and amazing. I know it's the place I need to be... And money is just paper I suppose. An education will be worth it. And I am thankful that BYU doesn't cost nearly as much as other schools in the first place, and for the scholarships I was able to get anyways. It's just... when friends tell me they got full rides, etc. etc., I feel like people expected me to get one of those, too. How can I explain that BYU is just so dang stuffed with smart people?
1 comment:
oh my love. i miss you. the only One you have to answer to is the Lord. He has a plan.
thinkin boutcha :)
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