Dallas Jr. was my parents' first child. He was born in April I think about six years before I was. When he was born, the back part of his brain hadn't formed. That's part of the reason I think my Mom never saw him.
Dear Brother,
It feels so unreal typing that. Yet I also know that it is true... you're my brother. And I will hopefully get to meet you someday. I think we each have thought about you as motivation for us to endure to the end; because then we'll get to be with you.
I have defined myself as part of a group of sisters for so long, I wonder how I would be different if you had been able to grow up with us. How would each of us be different? I think you would have made us better. But maybe we needed to learn those things on our own or through other ways.
I often wonder how you are. What kind of music would you like? What kind of clothes would you wear? I can't wait to get to know who you are. I've thought of my dad as a father of girls for so long it'd be really interesting to see how he would have parented you. Would you be married by now? Would you have children? I hope all those things are or will be possible for you where you are.
I know you have many things to do in heaven, but sometimes I wonder if you look down on us once in a while. Did you wish you could grown up with us? played with us, celebrated with us, protected us? It's probably pretty great up there where you are, but I secretly hope that sometimes you have thought about us and wanted us like we want you. I can only imagine how joyful Mom and Dad will be when we finally meet you.
Whenever someone asks how many siblings I have, I always think of you. I used to say you, too, but after a while it was just a lot of explaining to do. I hope that's ok. I look forward to the first time I can really say that, and have us all be there. Our first real family reunion.
I'm trying. I love you!
Your Sister,
Hilary
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