Todd,
I am so sorry. I do not even know why I did what I did. I was selfish, scared, and didn't know what was happening between us. You were always the kindest person in the world to me, and I threw it all away. It was me, all me, and I know that now. You were always there, literally with a shoulder for me to lean on, and when I had to stay after school all alone you watched over me. You think I didn't see you, but I did. And I felt safe, and loved. Thank you for that.
I remember what you wrote in my senior yearbook. I haven't looked at it since the day you wrote it, but those words still come back to haunt me. That was the first real wake-up call of my whole life; thank you for that, too. It took guts to write that in my yearbook, but I know now that's right where it belongs. To remind me of who I was in high school; the part of the girl that I was not proud of. You taught me so much, but I was so afraid to say so. You set such a great example of kindness to me, & I am so ashamed I treated you so wrongly.
It was long ago, but still makes my heart ache at what hurt I must have caused you. I know I have no right to be forgiven for my blatant wrongs, but please know that I am sorry. Truly, I look back on my life and regret what I lost with you.
Thank you for having faith in me, though I did nothing to inspire it. Thank you for protecting me, when I shied away from it. Thank you for testing me, when I couldn't appreciate it. I miss you.
Most Sincerely,
Hilary
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